courtney-steel

Core Memories: Baking

radianthearthroots@gmail.com (Courtney Steels) — Tue, 23 Apr 2024 02:46:12 GMT

The Family That Bakes Together...

Excited giggles float throughout the air as my children gather near the kitchen counters ready to commence one of their favorite activities of our day. As we home school there are opportunities for free time in order to invite room for boredom, creativity, independent play, etc... Typically, however, this time tends to be spent in the kitchen cooking up some new goodies.

A friend of mine recently gifted us some sourdough starter, which I'm told means I now have another child to tend to, and with this new addition we find ourselves searching through recipes to use the discard for. Breakfast can become quite monotonous when all my son wants is pancakes, and my daughter goes for the avocado toast. Both are great choices, but after a few weeks I wonder about their digestive systems getting enough diversity. We decided to sit down and look through "vegan breakfast sourdough discard recipes", and found a delicious looking scone picture. From there we realized some of the ingredients aren't ingredients we use or have on hand, so we decided to just create our own recipe. This usually comes to my daughter as she is clearly the baker in the family always making cookies and experimental treats during her free time.

We all measured ingredients, discussed whether blueberries or chocolate chips should be the special ingredient, decided on both, mixed, my son tried a few taste tests (and quickly found unbaked dough to not be as tasty as he thought), rolled out the dough, and sliced the scones into triangles. As it baked we found ourselves starting some bread with the leftover discard, which was a journey within itself of practicing patience as we let the dough rise. My children spent more time running to the oven to turn the light on and peek at the scones as they slowly changed form, which brought whispers and even more giggles when the blueberry juice popped out!

As we all waited for the scones to cool down we cleaned up the kitchen together. All of the flour that somehow dusted every surface was wiped down by me, the ingredients were put away by my daughter, and my son readied the table for everyone to eat at. Their jobs were much quicker than mine, so they ran outside to play together with one of our dogs, and I took a moment to soak up all of the precious gratitude for such a beautiful day. Because, lets be honest, when I was working full time these moments were too few and far between. Being present enough to recognize these sweet blissful moments, and soaking it up to save for a rainy day, has honestly been one of the greatest tools to come from my personal healing and learning journey.

My husband finished his call that he had been on, then I called the children to come try out their latest creation. All in all we were very pleased! My husband noted that he actually would've liked even more blueberries, and my children said more of the vegan butter is what they thought it needed. We talked about how we could work on the recipe together until we got it just right, and planned on what we would like to make next. Of course, both children had seconds, and dad as well.

The bread was finished in time for dinner, and it received the highest praise from my daughter, "I think this is the best bread I've ever had!" We ate it with our veggie & herb soup, which my husband made after he finished his work for the day. While we don't always have days that flow so well, it is almost always in the kitchen that we have the most high points when at home. And, home being where the heart is stands true as our family finds deep connection and meaning when preparing and eating meals together.

I hope that this short glimpse into our homeschooling every day life gives an example into how these beautiful simple moments, like baking as a family, can be created for our children to look back on one day.

The family that bakes together creates memories that last a lifetime!

Winter Activities: For Toddlers!

radianthearthroots@gmail.com (Courtney Steels) — Fri, 15 Dec 2023 21:00:00 GMT

Engage in Connection Building Fun

This is a message to all of the resilient parents out there juggling more than you ever thought possible. Consider this an invitation to embrace the spirit of connecting with your little ones AND the importance of self care in the midst of holiday chaos. Take a breather - I've got you covered with simple, no-stress activities that boost connection, social-emotional skills, and your energy levels!

This time of year means that winter break has come, and now entertaining children suddenly becomes a necessity, especially for those with toddlers that are bursting with endless energy! Amidst the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, I understand the need for simplicity and efficiency. You can add some intentional activities to support your rapidly developing young child's brain AND ensure that you have the energy to implement these activities. These are not only a breeze to set up, but also are designed to seamlessly integrate into your busy schedule. Imagine the giggles in a quick dance party or winding down into a cozy story break. Lets get into some fun ways to engage with your toddler that boost their social-emotional development skills.

Activities to boost the winter fun with your toddler:

Holiday Story Time : Gather up your favorite winter-themed books, get cozy, and use all the silly voices! Reading together with children encourages language development and creates a love for reading. Point to the pictures of the story first and ask them what is happening, then read the book together to discover how close their guesses were, "Hmm, what is the snowman doing here? He's dancing with a puppy. That looks fun. I wonder what will happen next."
Winter Sensory Bins : Create sensory bins filled with items like cotton balls, fake snow, winter animals, scoops, tongs, and other holiday-themed objects. Sensory bins offer a tactile experience that stimulates their senses, while also engaging their fine motor skills. Spark their interest by being curious about the items, "Wow, what is this white fluffy snow hiding? Can you find what's in there? Wow! A polar bear, and a penguin. Do you think they like to live in the snow?"
Puzzle Play : Work on puzzles together, while teaching problem-solving and teamwork. This low-key activity allows for connection and mental engagement. "This looks like a snowman's hat. Where would that go? Oh, his head! You're right. Now, where is his head? You found it, thank you! Do you want to put the hat on, or can I?"
Blanket Fort Building : Bring out all of the blankets, pillows, and cushions. This sparks creativity and provides a snug special space for story time or imaginative play. Include your toddler by asking for their input, "Hmm, where should we put this cushion? Here, okay. Is it standing? No, it fell. What can we do to help it stand up? A pillow? Let's try it. It worked. Great idea!"
Puppet Theater : Create fun stories with little life lessons using puppets. Childhood is bursting with opportunities to turn challenges into stories with examples on how to overcome obstacles, and puppets are a great visual aid! You can even use items found around the house, like socks or paper bags. Work together on a story to create a fun show. "What is this puppet's name? What is it going to do in this story? A snowy adventure in the mountains. Wow, that sounds fun. I can't wait!" Using this as a way to find their interest we can then weave a story of the puppet that climbed up the mountain through the snowstorm, and overcame the obstacles they faced.
"Northern Lights" Dance Party : Simple string lights strewn around the living room can create a colorful atmosphere to dance under at night time. You can even take it to the next level by laying down pillows or cushions to stand on, pretending that the floor is the Arctic Ocean, and the cushions are ice! Get creative and let loose with some festive tunes as you dance out the evening energy before bedtime. "Here comes an ocean wave! Jump to the big cushion, and I'll follow you. You made it! Victory dance!"
Arctic Animal Hunt: Hide animals, plush or plastic figurines, around the house for a scavenger hunt. This is a playful way to introduce arctic wildlife while engaging your toddler indoors. Allow your toddler to be the lead, and encourage their investigation with curious questions. "Where could the polar bear be hiding? What color is a polar bear? White, hmm, do you see anything white?"
Snowflake String Art: Craft snowflake string art using materials like cardboard, construction paper, printer paper, yarn, string, or even floss. The sturdier the material, the longer it will last! To add something even more special you could use glitter, cotton, and paint as well. This craft enhances fine motor skills, and results in a beautiful winter-themed decoration for your home. Asking your child their thoughts on the process brings connection and teamwork, "Where should I cut the paper to make the snowflake? What shape should I cut, can you draw it? Awesome! Now it's time to string it. What pattern should we make?"
Penguin Bowling: Save those empty plastic bottles! They can be painted into penguin bowling pins. Roll a soft ball to knock them down, and give someone the job of keeping score. This provides endless indoor entertainment with a fun winter animal twist. "Alright, it's your turn. You've got this. Yayy! You got some. That was awesome. Do you want to help set them up for my turn?"
Frosty the "Sock"man: You can create a sock snowman using old socks, rice, and buttons. It's a wonderful activity that doubles as a cute winter decor for your home. The possibilities are endless with how your little snowmen will come out, and making it a family activity can make it more special. "How big should I fill up this snowman's belly? All of it. That's a lot! Do you think all of it would fit? We can use measuring cups to see how much will fit. Do you want to fill the measuring cup, or pour it?"

Embracing the joy of connection and nurturing your little one's social-emotional skills can enrich your family's bond during the cooler season, and create lasting memories for a lifetime. I hope that this sparks some ideas, and gives your holiday some added radiance and joy!

Potty Training Without Rewards... Is it really possible?

radianthearthroots@gmail.com (Courtney Steels) — Sat, 02 Dec 2023 18:35:13 GMT

Instilling a Foundation of Intrinsic Motivation While They're Young!

Potty training is a significant milestone for toddlers that marks the transition from diapers to using the toilet independently. Stepping into this stage creates a new chapter for parenthood as well! It's all about the opportunity to guide your toddler through this new skill with an emphasis on patience and positivity . Many parents and caregivers opt to use sticker charts and treats for potty training. What we have learned is that this establishes extrinsic motivation. This means that as children grow they will most likely seek rewards for effort, and even expect it in settings like school for ideal behavior. Rewards are generally used as a behavioral modification tool, which can absolutely have its time and place. Utilizing intrinsic motivation by focusing on consistency, routines, positive reinforcement, and open communication can create a supportive environment conducive to mastering potty training.

Now, what does it even mean to instill intrinsic motivation while potty training? Everyone has an "inner world" where our thoughts and true self resides. The goal here is to reach that inner world with something that holds meaning and sticks, which involves cultivating a genuine internal desire to use the toilet, while fostering a sense of accomplishment and autonomy. This can look like observing and learning your child's cues, then teaching them to recognize those as well. "Do you notice your legs are wiggling? Yes, okay does that mean its potty time? Yes!" Encourage their independence, while always being on standby in the event they need assistance or connection during this learning process. "You can use this stool to reach the potty. Yes, one foot then the other. Oh, do you need help with turning around? Yes, okay, I'll show you how." Celebrating small victories with acknowledgement of their effort, and verbalizing how they feel, "Wow! You listened to your body, and ran to the potty. You kept trying and did it. How do you feel after going potty all by yourself? So proud, that's great!"

Alright, but how do we actually begin potty training?

Start with introducing your child to the concept of using the potty by sparking their curiosity. "Hmm, I see you don't want to wear your pull-up right now. Are you wanting to try something different? Where can you go potty if you're not wearing a pull-up?"
Offer encouragement when they make attempts that highlight their progress and effort. "Look, you pulled down your pull-up. Do you need to go potty? Great, what's the next step? Bathroom, yes!"
Let them be a part of the process, because that's what fostering independence is all about. This can look like letting them flush the toilet, close the lid, move the stool, or wash their own hands.
Make using the potty a fun idea by emphasizing the steps in a playful way that engages their interest.

For my family this meant a lot of favorite character impressions, modeling things correctly/incorrectly in a silly way, and really being present to show how important these moments were to me. By doing it incorrectly I was able to gift my children the experience of an adult making mistakes, as well as showing them how to handle it! "What? Oh, I did that differently than last time? I should look around and check? Ah, I see. I didn't open the toilet lid. I just sat down! How silly of me. It's okay, I can open it now, and remember next time. Thank you for telling me, because I forgot. I really like how kind your words were when you told me!"

Be patient and model how to have a growth mindset during any of your child's setbacks. "It's okay, my love! Learning to use the potty takes time. Mistakes help us learn. I can clean this up, then you can try again. Remember, I am right here to help you figure it out." Mistakes will happen. This is a practice , and will take some time. When using intrinsic motivation children are being taught to truly learn from their mistakes by focusing on all of the thing's we are modeling like persistence, resilience, maintaining a growth mindset, and having a positive attitude. By making the potty training experience positive and self-rewarding you can nurture an internal drive within your child to master this developmental milestone.

One Thing I Would NEVER Do Again As a Parent

Mon, 28 Sep 2020 20:02:52 GMT

If you feel like simply getting out the door on time (tie your shoes… where’s your coat… do you have your lunch??) is a battle, the reality is that you are locked in a power struggle with your child.

Someone will “win” and someone will “lose.”

And while this can be hard to recognize in the moment, power struggles are counter productive when it comes to cultivating a loving, healthy relationship with your child.

Power over dynamics are ubiquitous in our culture. However, when we tap into a larger truth we can see that everyone is divinely worthy of their own thoughts, emotions and experiences.

Yep! Even your kids. When we succumb to the candy of a power struggle, we are diminishing our child’s (the one we’d gladly dive in front of a bus for) self-worth, inner authority and ultimately, causing separation in the relationship through an erosion of trust.

While the stakes of this seem small when children are young, this can lead to really negative repercussions when these little cuties turn into big cuties. Teenagers who aren’t in communication with their parents about big challenges make poor decisions.

However, when trust and communication strategies are established early, there is an unshakable foundation that you child knows they can rely upon. They will come to you. Even when things are hard.

This is not a case for permissive parenting.

Clearly, we are charged with teaching our children to behave in acceptable ways, and to embody the values that we hold dear. I’ve learned that this is far more effectively done through conscious communication and emotional demonstration than the old “power over” ways that most of us were parented.

When my kids were little, I was a HUGE fan of the show “Supernanny.” She relied on a punishment and apology frame. Time outs were the relied upon method of bending a 3-year old to your will as a parent. (I personally loved the show because it made me feel like other people were way worse at this parenting thing than I was, and I wasn’t particularly confident in my skills at the time.)

I implemented her methods with gusto.

You will put on your shoes, or else….

You will eat your broccoli, or else…

You will NOT hit your sister, or else…

Time out.

The deal was your kiddo was supposed to sit there for the number of minutes as their age, then apologize. If they didn’t apologize they had to sit there for another round.

I knew that this method wasn’t going to work the day my 3-year old son sat on that step for well over an hour (you do the math). But then… even worse, he wouldn’t look at me for the rest of the afternoon.

I’d damaged our relationship in the name of control, and I vowed I would never do it again.

The key is to learn to be an authoritative parent that sees, understands and respects the individual experience of your child. When you communicate clearly, and are willing to own your own emotional experience, while allowing this little human to own his or hers, you can be in a powerful cooperative relationship.

Power struggles will sometimes (rarely) be necessary. So save them for when they count.